There’s a longstanding recipe among the gentlemen in my family, one that is rarely (read as: never) partaken by the ladies. This delicacy is called, Hamburoni.

To book your own ticket on this alimentary adventure, you’ll need the following delights:

• 1 lb. of ground beef
• Kitchen Bouquet browning sauce
• Kraft Deluxe Mac & Cheese
• Heinz ketchup

First, throw the beef into a pan and add a couple spirals of the Kitchen Bouquet.

Cook until it looks like it would be at home within a taco shell.

Then boil your mac n’ cheese. Now, this part is important. You can’t just use any old brand of mac. It MUST be the Kraft Deluxe kind.

You’ll know you’ve purchased the correct one if you find a silvery Cheddar Sac nested within the pasta in the box.

Boil your mac to taste (I prefer mine al dente) then squeeeeeeeeze in the cheeeeeeeeeeeze. (Unfortunately I did not get any pictures of this because Daphne was having a melted cheese meltdown in that moment.)

Once you have your standard bowl of DELUXE mac prepared, it’s time for the beautiful cheese pupa to sprout its beefy wings.

Add about 2/3 of the browned beef to your bowl of mac.

Now we’ve arrived the part where the meaty mettle of men is measured.
We’re adding ketchup.

As you can see, we were nearly out of ketchup. I didn’t check my ingredients before I began my Hamburoni Odyssey, so I did the best I could.

Normally I would’ve added another couple squirts to this mixture, but this ended up being fine.

Stir until the whole bowl turns the color of golden autumn sunlight, gossamer flecks of beef lit delicately upon the curves of rich and hearty pasta shells.

With that, your batch of Hamburoni is now complete.

Your next step, after several samples to ensure the correct fusion of cheese + beef + ketchup has been achieved, is to attempt to convince the other members of your household to actually eat your creation.

j.s.