So I’d mentioned that spring had arrived here in the Northeast Kingdom, and with it has come The Pollening.

Daph has had a nasty, barking cough for over 3 weeks, and Jen and I have had it for about 5 days now. None of us have a fever, though, so I don’t think it’s anything more serious…just nasal drip crud that’s manifesting as a cough and sore throat. It’s quite unpleasant, though, and we’re more than ready for it to move along.
Unfortunately it looks like we’ve still got another couple weeks (at least) of tree pollen up here… Not much to be done about it but muddle through with some Ricolas and Topo Chico. (Swiss and Mexican do often make a great combo.)

Fortunately it doesn’t seem to be bothering Daphne all that much. She’s been having popsicles to deal with the sore throat…

And then shuffling the popsicle stick around her mouth like a 1920’s gangster with a toothpick.

Also, generally speaking, her school days have been noticeably better since the bullying incident was dealt with last month.

Oh, that. Haven’t talked about that, have I?

Yeah, a boy in her class was making fun of Daphne’s stims/verbalizations and, after being told by the teacher that he needed to stop, he was entirely unrepentant and continued to mock her. So, in the end, they actually had to move the boy to another class. There’s more to it, of course, but nothing I want to put out publicly. Except for this one thing:

It is policy in Vermont to refrain from relaying any bullying incidents that happen during the school day with the student’s parents until after a formal investigation occurs. Even if the incident is, perhaps, informally reported to the parents and they both show up in the school’s administrative offices and demand answers while glowering in the center of morning foot traffic until a principal wisely moves them to a conference room (is that oddly specific?), Vermont educational policy still prohibits administrators from discussing exactly what happened to their child during the hours that said kid was entrusted to the district’s care.
3-5 days later, an envelope should come in the mail outlining the fact that the child was indeed involved in a bullying incident and will list some vague steps that were taken to attempt to curtail said bullying from happening in the future.
The problem here is that this policy hinges on a faulty assumption. Namely, that all children come home and tell their parents about a problem they had at school that day, so the parents can respond with the proper reassurance and comfort.
But what if your child can’t speak?
Now you have a kid who comes home, is upset because they’ve been made fun of at school, and the parents have no idea why their son/daughter is so emotional and upset.

Put simply, this policy robs moms and dads of special needs kids of their ability to effectively parent their child. If we don’t know something went wrong, we can’t respond to it. And getting a boilerplate form letter a week after the incident happens is too damn late.

This policy really needs to be amended by the Vermont Dept. of Education to be more inclusive to neurodivergent kids and their families.
Fortunately, it’s a pretty easy fix.

Just add a caveat to the existing policy that states, in the case of non-verbal students, the school will call the parents to relay the incident on the same day that it was reported, while informing them that the investigation is ongoing. Obviously this should be conferred without specifics as to the identity of the other child involved. (I totally get the need for anonymity there.)

That way we get the same ability to support and nurture our children as that of parents of neurotypical children, who think nothing of coming home and telling their parents that, “[bully kid] was mean to me today, pushed me down on the playground, and called me names…”

Just seems like an oversight. We can do better than this.

j.s.